Take The Nudes
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Stick with me on this one guys. lol
I’ve had a complicated relationship with my body, as most women have/do. I grew up in the church, where it was always implied that sex is wrong and I should be ashamed of any sort of sexual embodiment I might experience.
I won’t carry on about the church and what it does to a girl’s/woman’s sexual compass, because that’s not really the point of this post. But it is important to mention, because it’s where the shame I’ve felt for my body first began. I’m sure many of you can relate.
Once I hit 20, some of that wiring started loosening up as I started seeing my body for its strength and beauty.
Just in time for me to enter a long term, abusive relationship where I was shamed and punished for exuding any sort of sexiness, whether it was on purpose or not. Add on top of that, the belittling of parts of my body he felt could be better. (Umm no sir, the size of my girls and booty are just fine, maybe it’s actually your hands that are too big.)
So I learned to be insecure and ashamed of my body again. Covering it up for fear of getting yelled at if my pants were too tight, or I was exposing too much shoulder in a tank top. But also getting yelled at because I wasn’t being sexy enough for him at home. Uff, the mind games! Obviously, I didn’t know what red flags were back then.
Once that relationship ended, I entered into abusive relationship number 2. Because I still didn’t know what red flags were…
This one love bombed me for my body, dressed me to flaunt it, took pictures of it, and then in the next sentence, shamed me and told me it wasn’t worth shit the second she thought someone was eyeing me. The games it played with my mind again!
4 years after that relationship ended I still felt shameful and confused about my body.
But then came 2020. Whether it was the boredom of quarantine, or the luck of the recipient they went too, I started taking pictures of my, less then clothed, body.
And started falling in love with it.
I started noticing and studying the artful ways my body curved and bent, dimpled and rolled, the scars and flaws, the beauty of its contrasting skins tones.
And for the first time, I think ever, I felt truly beautiful. All of me.
I think we are so often caught up in seeing the beauty of others and only criticizing ourselves, that we forget to even look for any of our own beauty.
So….
TAKE THE NUDES!
Just do it. For yourself.
Take a thousand of them. (because let me tell you, not all the angles are gonna be that great.. lol) Dim the lights, drink a glass of wine and let the camera capture all of your incredible natural beauty.
Maybe jumping right in seems a little aggressive? Book a boudoir shoot. Get your hair and make up done. Find an outfit you feel great in. A black tank and a pair of black undies can be cute af!
Let yourself fall in love with yourself! Make yourself say, “Damn, I’m kinda hot!”
Don’t like the shots from the first shoot? Do another one! You’ll start learning what angles you like better then others.
This all might sound kind of silly, but I can almost guarantee you, your self-worth will increase and you’ll walk a little more confidently once you get a few shots you love. You’ll start seeing yourself as the beautiful masterpiece you truly are. You deserve that!
Now, write in the comments and tell us about the complicated relationship you might have with your body. Have you back tracked the origins of where it came from? How have you been working on healing those misbeliefs? Thoughts on nudes? Tell us everything so we can learn from each other!
(But please don’t send nudes) (Actually I don’t care if you do, I’ll just celebrate tf out of them with you. Lol)
You are loved, so very much!
Love, Haley
If you found this post helpful, find more Self-care tips in my 1st book Self-care Beyond Bubble Baths - Out of the box ideas to calm your mind and increase your self worth. I promise you wont regret it. I mean, worst case scenario you accidentally love yourself a little more.
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